Blog 5

          The topic that we have discussed in this course that has impacted me the most is violence and abuse.  The reason that this topic has impacted me is because of domestic violence that I have experienced in the past.  I never really talk about, but when I was 13 my parents retired and moved to Mexico.  Over there, it is common for girls to marry at young ages.  I was married when I was 16 and was involved in a very abusive marriage for 11 years.  Although my family was aware of some of the abuse, I tried to cover up as much as I could.  Some people would not understand how a woman can tolerate so much abuse for so long.  The truth is that abusers are very skilled at brainwashing their victims.  They know exactly how to make you feel useless.  They make you feel that you could never survive or support your children alone,  This is also why abusers know what kind of women to choose as victims.  They know how to identify vulnerable women or young girls.  Abusers do their best to ensure that the victim does not have friends and has limited communication with family.  This is so that the victim is not exposed to positive advise.  I grew up in a Catholic family and was taught that once you are married, you must tolerate everything and stay with your husband forever at all costs.  I was convinced that my children were better off if I continued to tolerate everything.  I was convinced that my children would never have everything that he provided them if I were on my own.  I was also threatened several times if I left. 

          Finally, I had the courage to leave.  It was an adventure that not everybody would understand.  I have learned that my children suffered more than I could have imagined during that relationship.  While I always thought that my children were happy, they were suffering emotionally.  Although it is now all in the past and I live far from the abuser, this topic still affects me in so many ways.  I have learned to succeed in life on my own.